You know something is up when the headline in a Chinese paper is a denial. No, I’m not talking about Jiang Zemin, we’ll get to him in a minute. But first, let’s talk about this bridge that is totally safe and was in no way rushed to completion. You will want to read this article before continuing.
You may have heard that as part of the CCP’s 90th anniversary celebration, in addition to making a really terrible movie, China also built a giant fucking bridge.
Said bridge is, in fact, the world’s longest sea bridge, and is over 26 miles long. If that doesn’t prove that China is a glorious socialist paradise, I’m not sure what does.
And yet, nay-sayers (probably on the NED payroll) have maligned the bridge, saying it was rushed to completion in time for the anniversary! Why? Just because it doesn’t have finished guard rails, or any kind of lighting, and the bolts aren’t all properly fastened.
What these dissident, anti-China forces don’t understand is that a bridge’s guard rails and lighting aren’t part of the bridge, they’re separate projects to be completed at a later date (duh!). Plus, who cares? An expert at the Beijing Jiaotong University’s department of Bridge Engineering has already said that the unscrewed bolts would cause no problems, and as for the guard rails, the only way them being unfinished could cause a problem would be if someone hit them! And come on, what are the chances of anyone getting into an accident along a 26-mile-long, completely unlit stretch of road in China?
Bridges don’t need lighting, or guardrails, you idiots. What they need is a strong Communist Party. If you crash into the guard rails and go flying into the water and drown, remember that it’s probably your fault for not singing enough red songs.
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